Into the lioness' den

I'm a single, middle-aged guy. So I've long ago not only determined I'm unlikely to meet decent prospects in bars, I'm as unlikely to get much of a shot. Unless I alter the hunting grounds.

You don't hunt deer by hanging around your backyard and expecting a big buck wander by. You go into the woods where they feel safe and comfortable. And although I'll take the gun immediately out of the metaphor, it seems sane to do the same with women.

Now, at this point, I haven't really taken aim at anything. I've kind of been in an observational mode. And it's been fascinating and educational.

I've chosen two "habitats." Both are flush with women. Both attract limited men, in numbers not necessarily in ability.

One is a downtown Austin restaurant. I've dropped by a couple of times and eaten there once. I've seen dozens of females and only about three men in all that time. The only explanation at which I can arrive is the restaurant's base product is salad. Hearty salad, tasty salad, yet salad. And that seems discouraging to men.

In fact, I've noticed quizzical looks when I'm there as if I walked through a door without noticing the shadowed dress on the person on that door and hadn't yet noticed the lack of urinals in the room. But all there is to note here is the lack of smell of burning meat and absence of bread crusts on bowls on unbussed tables.

At the tables, women of all ages and types lean in for conversation in the exact opposite of how men lean back to talk to one another. They seem proud they've chosen a vegetable spot for lunch, albeit a bit put off one of the other side is catching them grazing. But they seem to instinctively know this is their world and a certain air of relaxation permeates the room. As long as I don't pollute it with seeking a ribeye on the side.

The second outpost I've visited is a wine spot. I wouldn't suggest that wine and men are anthema. But this spot in Southwest Austin seems a female hangout. So much so, and with an atmosphere that is so different than the restaurant, I feel an interloper. In general, the visitors here are in their late 30s to mid 50s. They've been through the gender wars with the skirmishes in bars. And they seem a little bitter. Whereas the restaurant denizens seem surprised at my male visitation, these seem a little defensive. Maybe pissed is the truer word.

But it's not like guys don't exude the same attitude in certain situations. Visit a sports establishment during a critical University of Texas game and watch men relegate any female tag along to imposed silence. Maybe more indicative, I've seen men in gentlemen's clubs reject the mere presence of half-naked beautiful women when the big screen has been dropped for a mixed martial arts pay per view event.

But this feeling is different. I suspect there was talk of a "girls' night" and my simple existence in the same place wasn't on the imagined agenda.

I visited twice. The first time I felt so uncomfortable, I pretty much sought invisibility. I compared it to accompanying my lesbian friend to ladies night at her favorite club. I was more than ostracized, put in my place. The second time at the wine spot, I tried a different gambit. I minded my p's and q's like a little child. No hint of reviewing the room, no whisper of flirt, minimal conversation - actually closer to only introduction - followed by an immediate "I'll let you ladies get back to your evening." Recognize their ownership and get the hell away.

The result - I felt tolerated. Not appreciated, certainly not accepted. I am still one of them.

It was educational to visit these hideaways of female domination. I quickly learned my place. I recognized that experience has, probably deservedly, created some wariness for the male attitude and action. And I know these are also not spots I'm likely to meet someone for future interaction of any kind.

These are lands with No Hunting clearly posted.