Back talk

I was reading an acquaintance's blog which included a reference to a character trait.

"Bullshit," was my immediate reaction.

It's true I haven't spent time with the author in a few years. Prior to that, we were very close. That's the cause for the use of "acquaintance" as opposed to "friend."

Despite that gap, I found the self analysis misleading. I know people can grow and change, but believe in the philosophy there is a core that is built when you're still single digits in age. You can be cognizant of that base and try to consciously not act upon it. But in terms of who you are, it's always there. In natural reaction, that is what we will revert to.

Having thought that through probably even too much, I try to be aware of what I am, good and bad. I've fooled myself some in the past, but after having lived much longer than I actually expected, there is a history that forces me to review actions instead of just opinions.

But that's not enough. I also watch how others react to me. Sometimes, too much. I read more than is there quite often. In an example, my natural inclination is to closely examine what I think is a reaction and to question it. With a history of seeing how that blows up in my face too often, I try to just keep the questioning internal and to a limit. In terms of some philosophy, it is changing from feel, react and think to feel, think and react.

I wondered if the acquaintance drew the self character declaration from experience or thought. If it was only thought, I knew how an outsider calling bullshit would be helpful. But with my own experience, I also knew that is something that takes a trusting, extended relationship or an invitation.

But this is more about me than someone I haven't seen in four years. So it leads me to extend an invitation. I hope that those who have a view of me that isn't simply passing would call me out if need be. If they were to read something on this blog that they believe is false, they'd question it. Because I don't do this completely to yell into the empty forest and get a release. There's value in listening to the echo too.