Man of epiphany

I've been accused of being overly dramatic. I'll concede I have a tendency to overreact. But I think it's partially because I don't seem to learn slow and steady like most. While most seem to travel a path of consideration, time passed, understanding and resolution, I get struck by lightening.
I have moments of epiphany.
I can pinpoint the exact place and moment when I realized I was free from a past relationship. The same for my seeing a long-term relationship was over. I can stand in the same spot where I understood how much wasted time I spent in yesterdays and worrying about uncontrollable tomorrows while never giving right now notice or a chance.
I think others may believe they experience the same. But in observing, I find they refer to the exact remembrance of others' words in those moments, or simply looks upon faces. For me, it only comes solitary.
There are those who would call my sudden understanding divine intervention. I don't disagree. Sometimes understanding arrives like a thought in my head, a feeling in my soul, that was totally absent immediately prior. Sometimes it comes when I'm trying to construct something like this and it comes out somewhere my conscious had never envisioned.
It's not like I don't put myself through hell to get to this nirvana. I just never understand I'm traveling until I get to the destination. And that is a total surprise.
I've been accused of being mercurial. This is one of the reasons. It's because I don't understand until I'm there. And this enlightenment is strong and solid. It alters my behavior and function completely and irrevocably.
That's because I am an excellent liar - to myself. I tell myself something is true even though it makes me uncomfortable. But when the actual truth strikes me, it's undeniable. Most importantly, a simple indescribable feeling that truth is complete reality makes it impossible to ignore. It becomes dominant.
I'm grateful it happens. I spent a large portion of my life ignoring the slight nagging that something didn't ring true and had disconnected the real voice that sometimes spoke out of the blue. For all those years, I was fading. When I let myself hear the voice again, it came more often and louder. When I became conscious of it, my life began to alter.
I can't predict or ask for my moments of understanding. They don't have a trigger. They just are suddenly there. But then I guess that is a definition of epiphany.